Hypoxic Dick Heads to his next Asian Port-of-Call

As the jury deliberates in United States vs. Libby, Dick heads to Bangkok, maybe, or Ho Chi Minh City (formerly Saigon), a place he never ventured near when he was draft age in the late Sixties. Dick, head of a U.S. delegation sowing vitriol and discord among vital allies in the Far East, wants to be somewhere far, far away when his trusted aide and former bagman Scooter ("The Amnesiac") Libby learns his fate from the jury in D.C. Unrepentant, defiant and wrong as ever, Dick heads off criticism of his key role in creating the Iraq fiasco by attacking his Congressional critics. While he wouldn't question the patriotism of Democratic Quislings who are in league with Osama bin Laden, he doesn't hide his scorn for their cut-and-run attitude which validates the al-Qaeda strategy of waiting till the West caves in.

In Australia, Dick wads it all together with one summary statement: "Al Qaeda functions on the basis that they think they can break our will. That's their fundamental underlying strategy, that if they can kill enough Americans or cause enough havoc, create enough chaos in Iraq, then we'll quit and go home," Cheney added. "And my statement was that if we adopt the Pelosi policy, that then we will validate the strategy of al Qaeda. I said it and I meant it." Dick, head of the Pentagon's Office of Special Plans (ex officio), Project for A New American Century, and Grand Imperial Dragon of Herpetological Monsters of Darkness, as well as the Dick who has Bush's ear, always means it when he's wrong. Will Dick head to Switzerland next, or some jurisdiction such as France which eschews extradition? Still, the Hypoxic One appeared to whiff on a few gopher balls with the quote:

1. Al-Qaeda isn't the big problem in Iraq. Liberated native Iraqis are.
2. If al-Qaeda's fundamental underlying strategy is to kill enough Americans and cause enough havoc, then keeping enough Americans in Iraq for al-Qaeda to kill also validates al-Qaeda's strategy. Leaving Iraq will make it more difficult for al-Qaeda to kill Americans and create havoc because the Americans won't be in the Arabic regions of Asia anymore.
3. What's breaking America's will is fighting a stupid goddam unnecessary war that Dick Cheney dreamed up.

Dick heads off criticism like this by his appeals to history. Historians will see that the attack on the United States on September 11, 2001, by Saudis and Egyptians was definitively refuted by invading another country run by some other Arabs, which drew in other Arabic jihadis like Woodstock-on-the-Tigris. Among the groupies were al-Qaeda Arabs, who must have thought that they'd died and gone to Paradise before blowing themselves up, dying and going to Paradise, but then they probably think they're just the lucky recipients of the worst foreign policy judgment in American history. Nevertheless, Dick faces the judgment of his legacy unafraid.