A better America in 5 easy steps

As a reply and rebuke to those who might say I have nothing positive to say, I offer this simple five part program for dramatically improving the lives of everyday Americans. Please note that almost all of these steps can be accomplished from the comfort of your own home, or in some cases from the comfort of your local polling station. None of these ideas costs a dime; on the contrary, they tend to save massive amounts of money. All can be accomplished in one year, that year being 2008. Ready? Here goes:

Step One, The 535 Plan: Replace all 535 members of Congress. Mercilessly, relentlessly, without exception, refuse to return a single current member of Congress to Washington, D.C. Where possible, elect candidates from so-called third parties, such as the Greens or Libertarians. About 468 members (all members of the House plus 1/3 of the Senate) can be replaced in 2008; in successive two year cycles, 2010 and 2012, the plan can be completed. This simple expedient will immediately sever all existing relations between corporate lobbyists and existing members, will enable campaign finance reform, and will also make possible Steps Two, Three and Four.

Step Two: The new Congress will cut the defense budget, including all of the intelligence budgets and ancillary nuclear budgets which cumulatively add up to about $1 trillion a year, to 25% of this number. Wisely spent, this will be more than enough to defend America against real threats in their modern form. Leaving money to perform Steps Three and Four.

Step Three: Provide single payer universal healthcare for all Americans.

Step Four: Build a modern, comprehensive high-speed rail network serving the entire nation and providing point-to-point travel from everywhere to everywhere else.

Step Five: Stage a consumer revolt against professional football, basketball and baseball so that these sports go out of business. Instead of watching these increasingly sad, criminal and disgusting spectacles on television, go outside and do something instead.

Wasn't so hard, was it?