Famous Mea Culpas of Western History

(Washington-) Facing a firing line of questions from Washington lawmakers, Alan Greenspan, the former Federal Reserve chairman once considered the infallible maestro of the financial system, admitted on Thursday that he “made a mistake” in trusting that free markets could regulate themselves without government oversight.  A fervent proponent of deregulation during his 18-year tenure at the Fed’s helm, Mr. Greenspan has faced mounting criticism this year for having refused to consider cracking down on credit derivatives, an unchecked market whose excesses partly led to the current financial crisis. (New York Times, Oct. 23).

 (Sodom-Gomorrah News Dispatch, 4000 B.C.) – Lot’s wife admitted today in an interview that she made a “huge mistake” in turning for one last look at the Twin Cities.  “It’s not like I wasn’t warned,” she said, speaking with difficulty given her current condition (a crystalline column of sodium chloride).  “God said not to look, but I did.  It’s all there in Genesis 19. It's tough to go from being a pillar of the community to a pillar of salt because of one screw-up.”

(Rome Clarion, 64 A.D.) – Nero, reached today at his villa on the Palatine, candidly admitted that he should have picked a better time to practice the violin than during the Great Fire.  “What was I thinking?” said the Emperor.  “Romans have a right to expect more from their leader than a guy who works on some fiddle tune while the Imperial City goes up in smoke.”

 (Le Monde, Paris – Oct. 16, 1793) – Marie Antoinette, interviewed while riding a wagon on the way to the guillotine, told reporters that “public relations are a lot more important than people sometimes think.  The ‘cake’ thing was a serious gaffe, I can sure see that now.”

 (Big Horn Bugle, June 26, 1876) – General George Custer, head of the U.S. Cavalry’s 7^th army, admitted today that he probably “grossly underestimated” opposing forces in the battle against a Cheyenne – Northern Lakota alliance near the Little Big Horn River in southeastern Montana.  “Wow,” said the blond Indian fighter.  “Sitting Bull’s got, what?  Two thousand braves?  I’ve got maybe 300 guys.  You can’t like my chances. I blew this one, big time.”

(Berlin Zeitgeist, April, 1945) – Adolf Hitler, reached by telephone in the besieged capital city of Germany, spoke above the roar of incoming Soviet artillery, plainly discernible even in his deep bunker.  “I screwed up,” Der Fuhrer said.  “I really shouldn’t have started this whole Third Reich thing, or the Second World War, or the genocide. I made some big mistakes, there's no getting around it.”