Obama Bombs Los Angeles for 3rd Consecutive Day; Congress Vows Action after July 4 Holiday

June 27, 2011

Burbank, (AP) -

Tensions mounted on Capitol Hill in Washington today as President Obama ordered a third consecutive day of Predator Drone attacks on downtown Los Angeles and the San Fernando Valley. Many buildings downtown and large swaths of residential housing in the Valley were said to be ablaze, with confused firefighters responding to the scene amid continuous strafing from American, French and British fighters. There was no official tally of casualties, but they were expected to be heavy.

The attacks began without warning Friday night during rush hour, with the 405 and I-210 especially hard hit. Collapsing overpasses from a relentless barrage of Cruise missiles and unmanned Drone attacks created panic and pandemonium for commuters, adding to what was already a difficult drive home. Governor Jerry Brown ordered an immediate curfew to prevent looting and a ban on use of all elevated freeways where, said the Governor, frowning, "they're just sitting ducks."

Drone attacks have concentrated mainly on downtown areas over the weekend, with NATO fighter-bombers enforcing a no-fly zone over Burbank and Glendale, but also using precision-guided bombs on certain, strategic subdivisions. All regional airports, including LAX and John Wayne International in Orange County, were closed and commercial aircraft rerouted "to avoid getting blasted out of the sky," according to one air traffic controller contacted by phone.

Reaction in Congress was mixed. Senator John McCain (R, AZ) expressed unequivocal support for this latest use of U.S. military muscle, joined by Sens. John Kerry (D, Mass.) and Joe Lieberman (Unhinged, CT). "The terrorists need to know we mean business," said Lieberman. McCain expressed his hope that Obama "would see something to completion for once." Other Congress members expressed some reservations. "I don't think this is necessarily the best approach," said House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi of San Francisco, "although a limited bombing campaign confined to the south of the state, if it's necessary at all, is probably advisable."

Congressman Dennis Kucinich (D, OH) was predictably inflexible in his criticism. "This is an outrage," the elfin representative bellowed. "What possible purpose can it serve to bomb Los Angeles when we have so many pressing needs right here at home, including in cities like Los Angeles? If we had spent the money wasted in Iraq on mass transit in Los Angeles, a lot of innocent commuters would be alive right now."

A White House insider, speaking on condition of anonymity in light of the unconventional nature of this latest Presidential initiative, said that President Obama's decision to attack Southern California was "the other side of the coin" from ensuring an adequate oil supply, the rationale motivating the ongoing, illegal war in Libya. "The President is willing to do what it takes. We've got supply covered. The next logical step is destroying demand, and this is the right place to start."

White House Press Secretary Jay Carney answered questions at a press conference earlier today, fielding often abrasive and derisive questions from media representatives who were skeptical that the President's "unitary executive" powers went so far as to allow the fire-bombing of Santa Monica. "We don't consider the U.S., at this point, engaged in hostilities, under the War Powers Act or the Constitution," Carney stated. "No one is fighting back, since the Pentagon ordered them not to. There are no 'boots on the ground' as part of our attacking force, other than soldiers already based in California, and they're too busy taking cover."

Representative Ron Paul of Texas cited this latest bombing campaign as evidence that Congress was not fulfilling its role as the government branch properly overseeing the use of American force. He predicted that the same ten Congress members who joined in litigation to stop the Libyan war would probably meet just after the July 4 break to discuss a similar lawsuit against the Los Angeles war.