The New Adventures of Pancho & Frisco

Scene: Outskirts of a town out West. Frisco, a pretty lady buttoned tightly into her black Armani suit, rides a silver charger. Her little sling-back heels are thrust into diamond-crusted stirrups. A pair of bandoleras cross, and tastefully conceal, her decolletage. A broad pink sombrero shields her eyes from the blazing sun. At her side is Pancho Feingold, her diminutive sidekick. They dismount and seek cover behind some granite boulders, pulling their shiny revolvers from holsters. Frisco breaks a heel as she clambers across the rocky terrain.

Frisco: Damn!
Pancho: Oh Frisco!
Frisco: Oh Pancho, shut up.
Pancho: What we doing here, Frisco?
Frisco: El Malo is holed up in that town over there, holding everyone hostage. We're here to get them out.
Pancho: Oh Frisco! We going to be heroes?
Frisco: Maybe. But El Malo must be held accountable for his hostage taking.
Pancho: What hell that mean, Frisco?
Frisco: I'm not sure. I just like the sound of it.
Pancho: How long El Malo hold people hostage?
Frisco: Four years or so.
Pancho: Oh Frisco! So now we free them?
Frisco: Maybe. I don't want to endanger the hostages. (looks at her shoe...) This damn broken heel! This might not be the time.
Pancho: Hostages in danger now, Frisco?
Frisco: Yes. Every day 5 or 6 get shot because El Malo won't let them leave.
Pancho: Ay caramba! And this go on for four years?
Frisco: (defensively) I'm not responsible for that!
Pancho: So we attack, guns blazing, huh? Ay-yi-yi, arriba!
Frisco: It's not that simple, Pancho. There's more to it than you understand.
Pancho: Your heel again?
Frisco: No. El Malo refuses to cooperate. He says we can't free the hostages.
Pancho: Huh? You expect him to co-op-er-ate?
Frisco: It was his decision to take the town hostage. He should be held accountable for that and not expect us to make the decision to free his hostages.
Pancho: Oy vey, Frisco. You losing me.
Frisco: That's only because you don't pay attention to the politics of the situation.
Pancho: What you want to do, compadre?
Frisco: Well, it will be too hot this summer. We can take another run at this in September. Meanwhile, I can get this heel fixed.
Pancho: Hostages keep dying this summer?
Frisco: Probably more than ever, now that El Malo knows we want to free them.
Pancho: So if we free them, they die, if we don't free them, they die. But one big difference...
Frisco: We live. Saddle up, Pancho.
Pancho: Oh Frisco, this sucks. Heroes not like old days, verdad?
Frisco: Oh Pancho, shut up and ride.